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THE
RIVETING TALE OF LIZ AND SMUU’S FIRST SHOW....
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I just
couldn’t decide. Should I go or shouldn’t I? I think it really boiled
down to ‘will I make a complete fool of myself or won’t I?’ Since
the show venue was only 25 minutes away and the rest of Sunday was
looking suspiciously like the last seven Sundays, i.e two hours
cooking roast dinner, fifteen minutes eating roast dinner, one hour
clearing up from roast dinner, drinking too much wine and falling
asleep in front of the Antiques Roadshow – I decided to go for it.
For the showing fraternity amongst you this seems like no big deal.
What’s another show, and an ‘Exemption Show’ (titter titter) to
boot? Fellow pet owners amongst you, and I mean owner of a P.E.T
– ‘P’ampered un’E’ducated ‘T’errorist, whose pooches can’t remember
sit - yet alone stand, who get brushed on high days and holidays,
won’t do as they’re told and always answer back, will appreciate
just what a momentous decision this was!
With my young daughter for company, we set off. I drove along with
more butterflies in my stomach than the Amazon Rainforest. ‘Calm
down’ I told myself, it’s an Exemption Show, they’ll hardly be anyone
there. And do you know, I was right (for a while!)
Fifteen minutes before the ‘start’ time and there’s less than half
a dozen dogs (and of those that were there, well – I was feeling
smug let’s put it that way!) There were in fact so few people that
I volunteered to help set up the hall. This involved unrolling a
carpet that looked as though it must have been stored INSIDE a Dyson
Vacuum Cleaner. Honestly, I swear it was so covered in bits and
‘stuff’ that I feared Smuu would roll on it and come away looking
like a spotted Dalmation. Not so unlikely, you know what bitches
like to roll in…
Anyway, the smile was soon wiped off my face when the hall began
to fill and fill and fill. With my heart in my boots, I joined the
queue to pay for my entries. But which classes to enter? Just as
I thought I’d worked it out, there was a tap on my shoulder. “Excuse
me, your dog’s just been sick!” With dread I looked down and sure
enough, next to my heart filled boot was the evidence. “Nerves I
expect” the lady offered as I fought the embarrassment of knowing
that what I was looking at should by rights still be steaming in
the long grass at the bottom of my garden! Recycling may be Eco-friendly,
but friendly this certainly wasn’t. It can only get better from
here I said to myself as I trooped off to the Ladies for some loo
roll….
I put her forward for Any Variety Non Sporting and just about every
Novelty Class going, well why not? I was NOT going to go home without
at least one rosette (fighting talk, do you like it?!)
The novelty classes got underway in another hall whilst the hordes
took part or waited for their Any Variety class. Great, until I
heard a whisper that AV Non - Sporting had eventually started and
here I was on the end of the lead of, I’m sure, the ‘best dog within
a 30 mile radius’. “Pssst, pssst. What do I do, I should be in there?”
I hissed to a nearby Steward. “Don’t worry, they’ll wait for you”
he replied with an ‘arrgh bless, must be her first time’ sort of
smile. And so it was that I joined the ring of (gulp) 18 or so dogs,
all standing as still as a Corsini Figurine. This was looking serious.
Owners and dogs were primed to perfection, head still, tails aloft,
even breathing it seemed put on hold. I looked around to see if
Peter Purves was tucked in the corner doing a running commentary.
Once again I told myself to calm down. ‘Just stuff another sweetie
in her mouth the second she looks like she’s about to sit’. I swear
that when she moved she rattled, so full of sweeties was she! Our
trot up and down could have been better, but then it isn’t easy
strutting one’s stuff along THAT carpet! I’ll put you out of your
misery since I know you’re itching to find out how we did… FOURTH!
We came FOURTH! I was amazed and totally stunned. We came fourth
at Crufts, I mean the Petersfield Exemption Show, but hey, it was
Crufts to me! The show bug surely had me between its pincers now!
We arrived back home some four hours later with eight rosettes,
starving hungry but full of elation. We also took home the second
best dog within a thirty mile radius, the second best condition
dog, the prettiest bitch, and so on. Oh, I nearly forgot. I also
brought home the second best Junior Handler in her age group!
Unfortunately, once I’d pinned the rosettes up in the downstairs
loo, reality set in. Before I knew it I’d fed everyone, cleared
away, drunk too much wine and was asleep in front of the Antiques
Roadshow!
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Liz
Mowatt
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