I cannot believe I've been a Mummy for a week and experienced my first ever Mother's Day - how's that for good timing?
I've been woken in the night a couple of times but that's what Instagram is for.
The first time that a bubba got upset, I got upset. That's a Mum thing right? I felt so helpless, I jumped out of the whelping box and onto the sofa and then I jumped back into the box and then onto the sofa and for some reason none of this helped. Liz tried to rub the crying baby's tummy saying it had tummy ache and that it needed Gripe Water and whilst she rubbed, I licked. Meanwhile, downstairs, Salo was in the process of eating macaroni cheese, sushi and rice pudding. When Liz found the empty packets she started crying. It wasn't our favourite evening.
I've still got a bit of a 'Mummy Belly' because I'm eating loads but I'm not one to wear tight trousers anyway. I will be slim again soon, I mean I'm FRENCH and then all my hair will fall out, but let's brush over that, ahem.
The babies are beautiful and have doubled their birth weights - must be my lovely gold top milk on tap. Their markings are getting brighter every day. Two of the puppies are like twins and are very difficult to tell apart except that one has a willy.
Would you like to see a photo of me when I was born?
I picked up a weemail earlier and it said that there's a classy blonde arriving tomorrow from London. I'm very excited but I'm not allowed to meet her for a few weeks. Eventually we're going to hang out in the garden whilst our children run riot, apparently it's all the rage in Surrey.
Anyway, let's get this back to me. Liz is hoping to update her website today with photos of MY beautiful babies along with their weights and cute names.