I'm in the Presidential Suite and housekeeping is pretty good. I'm getting served bone broth at the click of my paws and scrambled eggs and meat and lots of yummy stuff. I'm being told I'm beautiful and clever and I even heard someone say 'amazeballs' - how very uncouth.
I must say I'm rather impressed with how well I've played this whole thing. I simply decided that my place is on the sofa and that's where I spent the evening of Monday 29th February (day 61 post ovulation). I'm not one for that Interior Design Challenge programme, so I left them to it and went and lay down on the sofa in the snug, in the dark, mmmm nice and cosy. At bedtime I simply took to the sofa in the Presidential Suite and there I slept, fitfully.
At some unGodly hour of the morning (I believe it was 05.30 - horrors) Mumma Liz gave me a cuddle and checked me over & went downstairs muttering to herself something about a cup of tea and needing to wake up. Whilst she was gone I left a little present in the servant's quarters, but let's keep that between us, Delphi Dog the Cat took the rap.
So a few hours later I'm still lying on my sofa on top of the lovely whale patterned fleecy blanket that smells of home and everything is great. Every time Liz looks at me I just lie completely still, like a statue, but smiling, very important to keep smiling. She's looking for signs of digging but as I've previously mentioned, I don't do digging. She's looking beadily for contractions, no, not showing her any of those - panting, digging and contractions? People come on, I'm a Princess! Ooooh, she's looking again, right everybody hold tight, don't move, smile - phew she stopped watching.
Now Mumma Liz, as everybody knows, doesn't do numbers - she does colours and she can get a bit obsessed. Take this whole domino thing. She loves them and has been on a mission to find out about the inheritance of domino because she felt pretty sure that it isn't the case that both dogs have to carry it. All her friends have had to listen to her theory, looked at the punnet square she's drawn up and nod in all the right places, yawn, I'm feeling a bit sleepy zzzzz. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed she was sorting out the dirty laundry, in colour order of course! Off she goes with her arms full of washing, bet she drops a pair of pants on the landing, it's a common housekeeping failing.
Now where was I? Ah yes. So Mumma Liz was only gone five minutes so I took that as my opportunity! Having droned on and on (and on) about how it just needs a domino carrier (which could be me as my Mum has produced it) to be mated to a cream carrier, which my boyfriend Roope is (he has been DNA tested and Liz knows for sure he doesn't carry domino but does carry cream) and et voila, you 'could' get a domino puppy because domino is dominant only to cream. So there I was on my sofa and when she came back into the room and looked at me I simply said - 'Here's your longed for domino puppy right here safely delivered onto the sofa, you were right, now let's hear no more about it'. Oh Liz made lots of squealing noises and stuff and despite giving her her heart's desire, she became adamant that we must be uprooted into a bloody box of all things. Don't try and tell me it's a lovely box and it's blue, I care not for colours, I love my sofa. I refused.
So there we have it - the fifth generation of TabanyaRuu Finnish Lapphunds has been safely delivered. More scrambled eggs please! ......
To be continued.